today i started reading In Defense of Women

aug 23

i was lying on the beach and i felt like the ground was moving beneath me and i thought goddammit jessica!  are you dehydrated again?  you gotta drink more water, but it was deeper than being dizzy.  then my mom said “did you feel that?”  and then i realized we had just experienced a mini earthquake.  oooooooooo

well virginia had an earthquake and then it worked its way up to us.  i got excited by it.  but my momma freaked a little and kept pacing on the beach looking for a tsunami.  my sister was in our beach house and said that the whole house shook!

crazzzy stuff.

after it happened my mom called my sister and asked her to check the news to see what was up.  My sister was taking a while to respond so my mom called back a couple of times and then said “the phone is busy, she must be on the phone with someone else.”  i thought who the hell would julia be calling right now when she’s all nervous and stuff about the world coming to an end if she’s not talking to my mom?  Then without thinking i immediately thought Dad!  If you want to know factual things, you ask him.  Maybe she would be asking him how earthquakes work?  Well, obviously she wasnt calling him.  But good thing the first person I think to call during an emergency is dead! now who am i supposed to call when i want to know how stuff works and need a little comfort?

in reality we couldnt reach her because after the earthquake the cell phone lines were blocked up by too much traffic.  she was not on the phone with anyone else.

after the beach i showered and lay on the couch to read before heading out for a mother-daughter walk, but proceeded to fall asleep.  the elements that i remember about the dream are: our old house, an empty/abandoned? car, LOTS of money in an envelope (thousands) and 200 of it not in the envelope, and the police.  also im sure my mom was there.  and my dad.  i cant remember my father’s presence in the dream but i know he was there because i woke up with a warm feeling in my chest and an incredible happy, satisfied, and relieved feeling i only have when i dream about him.  i’m so glad i dream about him.  i’m sure other people might get freaked out or it might upset them and make them cry, but it really makes me incredibly happy.  thank god for imaginations and dreams.